Top Ten Blonde Jokes

The clean dumb blonde jokes below are from the book 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out now for 100s of clean dumb blonde jokes.

History Lesson A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” “What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’ The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”

Ventriloquist A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!” The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little shit on your knee.”

Indecent Exposure A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?” She says, “Why, officer?” “Because your breast is hanging out.” She looks down and says, “OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again!”

I Want Some Milk Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk. When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order. Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, “I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?” Gloria said, “I want 15 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath.” Alan asked, “Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?” Gloria replied, “No, just up to my waist.”

One Wish To Each Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie’s lamp. After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, “I will grant three wishes, one for each of you.” The first said, “I wish I were smarter.” So, she became a redhead. The second blonde said, “I wish I were smarter than she is.” She became a brunette. The third blond ordered, “I wish I were smarter than both of them!” So, she became a man.

Read 100s more great blonde jokes from the best joke book ever: 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out, you will thank me…